I've watched ABC soaps for a very long time now. When I was younger, I got hooked on them with my biological mother. She'd come home and pop the tapes in, and we'd watch together. Later, when my son was born, only my soaps could get him to calm down. Yes, even as a newborn, he loved the soaps! He'd scream 21 hours a day, but he'd watch those soaps intently.
A soap opera is like a great novel with many storylines. Some of the storylines run for a few days, others for months or even years. We get to fall in love over and over again. We get to imagine love's first kiss, or even a passionate rendevoux with a forbidden lover. For just a few hours a day, we get to live vicariously through the trollups and tramps of the soap opera world. In fact, in my house. we call it "Cable Porn."
In the land of the soaps, there is no one true love, and no just one shot at love. There are always second chances, third and fourth ones too. In the soap opera world, a divorce means a new beginning, often times for the same couple. Good bye is never really good bye. This is evidenced by the fact that everybody dies at least twice, but often, they die many more times. Even if the body is autopsied, even if you see it go into the cremation kiln, and watch as the ashes are removed, you still know deep down this isn't really good bye.
The character will come back as a ghost for a while, and then later, they come back to life again. After all, they weren't really dead. That was a twin of theirs in the kiln, or it was just some great hoax perpetrated by the town's evil doctor that can't help but be a do-gooder.
So, I was shocked tonight when I looked up spoilers for my favorite ABC shows only to discover that two of these shows are definately canceled, and the last one may be on the chopping block as well. In defense of their decision, ABC execs are saying they believe, due to the success of the View, that there should be more shows like it.
So now, we get a food show. More than half of all Americans are obese. Yep. We definately really need a food show. But don't you worry! They're going to balance that out with a weight loss show! That's right. It's looking like it's gonna be a reality based weight loss show. Okay, so now you want me to be fatter, then make me feel guilty for being even fatter? And the third? Well, Katie Couric just may get that time slot!
Yes. That Katie Couric.
We didn't watch her on the Today Show. Apparently, her prime time gig didn't go so well either. Yet, ABC thinks she'll do well with a daytime talk show instead. Apparently, the ABC executives are very bright people. (You did notice the sarcasm there, right?)
One can't help but wonder if ABC is purposely tanking their network. The evening shows really aren't doing so well. Desperate Housewives is getting desperately boring. Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice have also run their course. There are shows on USA that are better than those any day of the week! (Remember when the USA channel was nothing but crap? It seems ABC wants to trade places!) The only show they have anymore with any ratings is Castle. The execs forget that the only reason that show started off as well as it did was because of the dedicated soap fans that recognized one of their favorite actors. (Richard Castle's actor also played Joey Buchanon on OLTL.)
One has to really wonder what the executives are thinking here. If they think that their soap opera fan base is going to stick around to watch something other than their favorite soaps, they're wrong. I'll head on over to the Bored Housewives Network, (also known as Lifetime Movie Channel) and get my daily dose of adulterous drama over there instead. Or maybe I'll watch USA instead. Either way, food shows, cooking shows and reality weight loss shows are NOT on my daily Cable Porn menu!
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