Irritations!

My dearest husband,

I love you, and I love you dearly. You are a part of my heart, my mind and my soul. That being said, there are things that do, that you've always done, that I've always asked you NOT to do that really bug the crap out of me. I figured that maybe if you read them here, and processed the information that way, it would stick and maybe you'd stop. Yes, I know. It's unlikely, but maybe.

I realize you like a cig right before bed, or when getting up in the morning, or some time in the middle of the night. However, we don't leave our windows open that often, you've never been considerate enough to at least crack the window, the fan isn't on because you get too cold with it on, and so that smoke just sits there. Stagnant. Even several hours later, it is still there, choking the life out of whatever enters, or is in there.

When you first visited, I told you we don't smoke in the bedroom. I made one exception when we were playing video games one night, but I also had the windows open and the fan going. Ever since then, even though I ask you not to, you do it. Even though I tell you that it makes it harder for me to BREATHE, something I have to do in order to LIVE, you still do it. Even when I explain to you that we have a feral cat, who is used to nice clean fresh air, essentially trapped in our room, unable to escape the putrid smoke, you still do it.

Second, smoking in the bathroom. Come on now. If it irritates me that you're smoking in the bedroom, what do you think I'm gonna feel about you smoking in the bathroom? Come on! The room is 3 feet by 3 feet at most! Even when we don't have an injured kitten in there, we keep the doors shut to keep the dogs from going in and ripping everything up. The window never gets opened so it smells as though there was a recent fire in there. Even hours later, the smoke and the smell is extremely thick.

Now, yes. I have allowed smoking in the bathroom before. Back when I was trying hard to not allow it in the house and it would be over a hundred degrees outside, or thunderstorming outside, I allowed smoking in the bathroom, with the window open, with us practically hanging out the window. And yes, I occassionaly enjoy a cigarette myself, as I am lounging around in the bath, with the door and window wide open. Door and window open means the air circulates and smoke clears out.

With the window to the bathroom shut, and you smoking in it, it creates the 'car' effect. Small enclosed space plus smoke equals can not breathe, everything stinks, and a very irritated me that can't breathe very well.

I've tried everything I can think of to get you to stop smoking in these two places. I've banned smoking in the house. I've yelled at you. I've pleaded with you. I've asked you nicely. I've even explained how it physically makes me feel when you're smoking in such a small space that is not well ventilated.

My love, I'm not asking you to quit smoking (something we both should do). I'm not even asking you to not smoke inside at all. I'm not asking that you make any major lifestyle changes. All that I'm asking is that you not smoke in the bedroom or the bathroom. Or at least, if you absolutely HAVE to, then at least crack a window a bit and smoke near the window.

Unless, of course, you want to spend another three hundred dollars on a noisy, loud assed air purifier that is a pain in the ass to clean each and every single week and sleep with that in our room!

PS: Just a hint here, but when your wife is pissed off because the brand new blender she just bought doesn't work, the last thing you want to do is look up recipes for the thing she was trying to make, and tell her it's her fault the blender doesn't do it's job right! She (me that is) already feels shitty enough that the treat she made for YOU didn't come out right (because of the malfunctioning blender). Don't make it worse please!

Signed,

Your loving wife