One of those days!

Yesterday was one of "those days." You know the day I'm talking about. Our mom's warned us about them, bad horror movies were made based off of them, and our children run away from us the moment they realize we're experiencing one of them. Yes. One of those days. 

I could not take one single step without something falling, spilling or breaking. I couldn't move a single part of my body without hearing the "yelp" from one of the animals that said "ouch! watch what you're doing ya big ol' whale!"

By 10 am, I was ready for the gym. I needed the gym. I'm one of those high anxiety people whose stress level is so high, even the Homeland Security color code warning system wouldn't cover it. I get stressed out and the terror threat level in this house goes from calm to "quick! Run for your lives!" in less than 10 seconds, so I really really needed the gym.

7:00 am - Lots of work. YAY! Get started.

8:00 am - No clean towels for a shower. Sniff arms. Need gas mask! Gather towels.

9:00 am - Get started on making breakfast which includes cleaning stuff again. Wake kids up to get dogs walked.

9:15 am - Sigh. Wake kids up to get dogs walked.

9:30 am - Sigh. Glare. Wake kids up to get dogs walked.

9:45 am - Sigh. Glare. Grumble. Wake kids up to get dogs walked. 

10:00 am - Wake kids up to get dogs walked. Threaten them with no computer or tv for the week. They finally get up to get dogs walked.

My day hasn't even started yet and I'm ready to sell the kids, the dogs, and the cats, to the first gypsy that happens to come to our door.

11:00 am - Start on the actual food preparation for breakfast. By the way, still working too! French toast, eggs, bacon. Not enough eggs. That's okay, we'll lengthen the eggs out by making ham and eggs instead.

11:10 - After ham and eggs are mixed, after french toast batter is made, loving birthday boy husband points out I also need eggs for the cake. Did I mention that I found out the night before I won't be getting my paycheck until an entire week after it's due, and my loving wonderful birthday boy husband confiscated my very last $20 the night before also? No money for more eggs.

11:15 - Husband springs for more eggs. Ready to murderize husband. Bite my tongue to keep from saying "gee dear, how kind of you to purchase the eggs for YOUR breakfast, and YOUR cake!"  

High Noon - That's 12:00 PM for you city folks out there. ;) Breakfast is finally ready. I only have to tell the boys three times that breakfast is ready to get them to finally come to the table. My daughter was there before I even had had a chance to tell them breakfast was ready.

12:10 pm - Everyone, except for me again, is done shoveling food down their throats and ready to go spend the day doing whatever it is they do on their computers. I glare and refuse to excuse anyone from the table until I'm done eating.

12:11 pm - Everyone is staring at me. I see daggers coming from the eyes of my son, my husband is giving me the "but it's my birthday!" puppy dog look and my daughter is looking at the food still left over as though she has found the holy grail. I sigh and tell them to just go.

1:00 pm - Still working over here. Still stinking too. Husband refuses to go and do even one load of laundry at the laundry mat. It's on the highway which I don't drive on yet. (I'm just learning how to drive a manual transmission car and not decent enough for highway driving.)  

1:10 pm - Tell kids to gather towels, and one outfit. We'll try the washer here again. After all, it was just making a loud noise before. We should be able to do a small load without major issues. I've done it before and we STINK.

work, work, work for a couple more hours.

2:30 pm - Put clothes in washer.

3:00 pm - still have half an hour left to work. suddenly hear the sounds of rushing water hitting the floor of the laundry room. "Crap! That doesn't sound good!" I exclaim as I jump up and go running. This woul be a good time for the loving, wonderful, birthday boy husband to follow, right?

Nope.

Two inches of water is now covering the laundry room floor. We can't shut off the water to the machine because we can't move the washer to reach it. I have a sudden moment of absolute genius and just turn the washer off. Gee, imagine that. It worked!

3:10 pm - Kids and I are trying to wring clothes out and clean up the floor, and bail the water out of the washer. Finally, I go to my husband."I know it's your birthday and you're terribly busy in World of Warcrap, however, our laundry room is flooded. For some odd reason, I happen to think that takes just a bit of priority over your game. Now, I could be wrong, and I know my priorities are all screwed up with that whole 'family first' thing, but perhaps you should get up off your a$$ and help us out a bit. What do you think?

3:30 pm - Impossible task of cleaning mess finally done. Quickly finish work stuffs since I didn't do anything the previous half hour. Get stuff out to make cake. Discover someone opened the store bought icing, took one finger swipe through it, then put it back in the cupboard. Yes. Icing was bad.

4:00 pm - Cake is in the oven. Go out to get the grill started, ask my son to make the hamburger patties for me. He goes to his room for a nap instead. Daughter starts cutting veggies, I get patties together, while grumbling and insisting brother is grounded for the next month of Sundays. 

4:20 pm - Patties on the grill, cake is out of the oven and cool enough for the home made yummy icing. Cake literally crumbles on me as I'm putting the icing onto it. My husband's birthday cake winds up looking like someone dropped it on the road, ran over it, then stuffed it back in the pan and tried to glue it together with icing.

4:45 pm - Dinner is done. I'm near tears. I really, really, really need a workout at this point. We sit down to eat dinner.

5:00 pm - Feel better. All is well with the world.

5:20 pm - Everyone is done eating. Tell my husband I could really use some time with him. His response? "Isn't that what the gym is for?" *sighs*

6:15 pm - Finally get to head to the gym. Get everything together. Boychild decides he wants to go after all. Wait for him.

6:30 pm - Finally, get to head to the gym. Again. Watch that gas the entire way there though because we're riding fumes. Internally thank the husband for being kind enough to at least put gas in the car for me so that I wouldn't risk running out on my way to town.

6:45 PM - YAY! Workout time! Fill up tank real quick. Wait... not work out time. Gas station attendants know we do rescues and ask us again to try to get the kitten from their bushes. Spend an entire hour, half of the work out time, to try to get this very scared little baby. Baby eludes us. Going back next night to see if we can get it to go into the cage on it's own.

7:45 Start work out. Ellyptical is fine. Not great, but fine. Bike is giving me a harder time than usual. Can't even handle level 2 now where last week, I was on level 3! One day off couldn't have resulted in that much degrading of my muscles and respiratory system! Also discover I gained 4 pounds in the span of 48 hours. WTF???

8:45 - Finally done with cardio. No time for strength training. Husband won't go to bed or even get in the shower without me home.

9:15 - home and getting dogs for walks. Cara, the lab mix, drags me for 2 miles and seems to have forgotten ALL of her training!

10:15 Trade out the dogs. This time, I take the smaller of the two. Arlen, 15 pounds of rat terrier, also tries to drag me and thinks he forgot all of HIS training. I threaten to swing him above my head like a helicotper propeller. He seems to understand the threat and behaves. Unfortunately for my son, the 40 pounds of fur and 30 pounds of husky that he has isn't quite as cooperative. These two get a one mile walk instead.

11:00 Get home. Husband is glaring because Moby and Cara wouldn't let him sleep. He seems to be a bit irritated. Poor him. I really really want that shower. Crap! Still no clean towels. I realize that also means no clean clothes too.  

11:30 pm - Give up. Go to bed.  

So there we go. My fourth of July, and husband's birthday. It was one huge comedy of errors all day long. Of course now, I can sit back and giggle about it a small bit. I suspect as the day goes on, I'll giggle a bit more maybe. Thankfully, the fourth of July comes only once per year!   

Oh, and tonight? I get two uninterupted hours at the gym! I will work myself until I am ready to pass out. I will wake up tomorrow morning in enough pain to let me know I'm alive.  I will be so exhausted by the time that I'm done, that I won't have the energy to feel any stress or anxiety at all. And then, when I'm done, I'll be walking four very well behaved puppies! At least, that's the plan.