2 Year Anniversary!!!

Today is my wedding anniversary. My husband and I have been married for exactly two years today. Or rather, he's been married two years today. The judge didn't have me say any vows. *laughs* I constantly tease him about that too.

My husband was so unexpected. He came into my life at a time when I didn't need or want anyone. That old heart of mine had started shutting back down again. We met in a game called Gothador.

Now, this game is bland and boring, but at one time it had one hell of a community. We started to become friends over there. We'd laugh and joke and tease each other. We, as so many others, were starting to get bored with that game. Thad tells me he was told of a new game, and would like to check it out. He said I was too prudish to want to check it out too though.

Ooops. *laughs*

We wound up role playing identical twin sisters in a game called Sociolotron. I was too much of a prude for it, but very much a workahlic even then. This game gave me something to be a workaholic for! We owned a bar together, which actually gave me my first management experiences.

Anyway, I wound up with a broken heart once or twice there as I had gotten close to someone else. And Thad was just... there. There were so many nights he'd stay up with me, talking to me and such. We'd sit cuddled up in a park scene, and just talk about everything under the moon. We were discovering that we weren't just good business partners, we were great friends too.

One day, after a year or so, I was teasing him and asked him when he was gonna come out for a visit. I was no where near serious, and didn't think he was when he said "when are you gonna give me your address?" I gave it to him, thinking in the back of my mind that he was just never going to show up.

Even though he'd IM me from different hotels along the way, I still didn't think he'd arrive. So I was completely shocked when he showed up at my work. (I worked at Whataburger at the time.) He steps out of the car, and my manager, Ms. Nancy, takes one look at him, and says to me "you're going to marry him!" (She had no clue he was there to visit me to begin with.) I told her it'd be a cold day in hell before I married anyone, least of all him!

I didn't need anyone in my life, and I sure as hell didn't want anyone in my life. We were just friends, and that's how it was going to stay!

But then....

As each day passed by, I'd go to work. And I'd come home and some other thing would be fixed. Bill collector? Gone. Backlog of laundry? Done. Neighbors harrassing us? No more. My life back then was drama central. I didn't cause it, but I sure attracted it. With each passing day, life calmed down around me.

And he never did it overtly. He was always so subtle in it so that I didn't know what he was doing at the time. I think if I had known, I'd have gotten rid of him fast. After all, I didn't need anyone to "fix me." I was going to fix myself dammit!

And one day, I got very ill. He took care of me. He took care of my little girl.

Before we knew it, a one week visit turned into three weeks. I didn't want him to go and he didn't want to go. I remember us talking about the possibility of him coming back to stay. I wanted him to stay!

Of course, as soon as he left, I got those cold feet, and there was no way he was coming back. After all, eventually he'd just leave again anyway. Nope. Wasn't gonna have it. I remember the drama starting to return, life getting crazy again and I called him in tears wanting him to come home; and then the next day, calling him back up and saying never mind. I could fix it on my own.

Finally, he asks me that if this is our chance to find happiness, do we really want to pass that up? He reminds me that if it doesn't work out, he can simply leave, or I can kick him out. Did we really want to remain alone and miserable for the rest of our lives? He said sometimes, we just have to take a leap of faith.

Years of talking online and a three week visit, and I took that leap. I made it very clear though that we were NOT getting married. Hell no!

He brought so much joy into our lives. My little girl was talking and laughing. At seven years old she was so very meek and quiet. He brought life back into her, and into me too. We set up some very basic ground rules.

Two years later, on his birthday, we were watching the fireworks display. I got this sudden irrational fear that he was going to be gone. I was going to wake up one day and he wasn't going to be there. I started to cry quietly as I realized how much I loved him. I turned to look at him, and asked him to marry me. He asks "are you sure?" Yeah.

And on September 24th, we were married!

I complain a lot about my husband, mostly joking around. He has his faults, as I have mine. But he knows me. He knows me better than I know myself. If I have a migraine, he knows I either didn't sleep, or didn't eat and makes me sleep or eat. rofl When I'm in work work work mode, and need a break but don't realize it, he knows how to get me to take a break (without saying it.) He knows how I am in crowded situations, and avoids them.

He knows when I am stressed, and does his best to relieve that stress, or get me away from it. He knows how I freak out when the cupboards are bare, how I won't eat until everyone else has had their servings, how I won't buy myself clothes until what I have is falling apart, how I get severely depressed around Christmas time, and love Halloween. He's okay with the fact that I don't like sex and accepts the little things I do that show him I love him in it's place. He knows when I say I don't want something, I actually really do. He knows when I say it's okay that we can't do something, that it isn't okay but I'm putting up a front so nobody sees how disappointed I am.

Every day is an adjustment for me. It's one day longer that somebody has been there, and hasn't left. Even now, I still push him away much of the time. But he never goes. He knows that deep down, I need him.

It is my wish for everyone that they find love; real, true, accepting love. The package may not be what you expect, but the gift is priceless.